Dear God, (January 26th, 2009)
I’m going to the doctor today to start my intensive scoliosis treatment. I’m also going to a doctor this week to have them check out my heart and do lab tests. This is going to be a tough week. I need Your strength to make it through. I trust You and I know that You’re in complete control of the situation, so I have no reason to fear. But I sure need Your help. May Your strength be revealed in my weakness. I want my frailty and pain to bring glory to You and You alone, for You are the One who sustains me.
Help me to keep going. Help me to keep serving You, to keep boldly living for You, no matter what the cost to my popularity. Right now, kids at Calvary like me because of my music and because I make them laugh. But I am not living boldly for You, and that has to change. But I get so lonely without people to talk to! Oh help me, Abba! I want Your will above all else. I don’t want to settle for mediocre Christianity like everyone else. I want to truly follow You and spend my life for You, not the pleasures of this world. I don’t want to stick You in a compartment in my life—I want You to show Your life through me. I don’t want to serve the idols of self and pleasure. I want my life to be a constant worship of You. I want to be poured out as a drink offering for You. Help me!