Dear God, (March 26th, 2008)
Help me change. I’m just as stagnant as any believer, so who am I to try to tell them how to live the Christian life? I still struggle so much...with depression. Can you help me fight this? I want to reach out...I want to shine Your light...but how can I, when I still have darkness in me? Give me a hunger for Your Word, help me turn to You in times of trouble, instead of trying to deal with things my own way. Help me to know which step to take next in life. Some are pressuring me to go to college, but is that the wisest use of Your money? I only have so many possessions, so much "talent" (if any), so much health and strength, so much life. I only have 1 lifetime to give it all away so that others will give You all the glory, Father.
I ask that You show Yourself strong in my life, God. You have made me weak so that You will get more glory. Thank you for this. I ask that I would not receive any glory for what You do in, through, and in spite of, me. Use me however You wish, but please, take all the glory. Don’t let me get in the way.
I know that You specialize in doing what seems impossible, God, and I have some situations in my life right now that seem impossible. For instance, if You do want me to go to college, I don’t know where I’ll get the money to pay for it. And, as it is, I don’t know where I’ll be able to get a job to support myself for life. How can I find a job (especially if I don’t go to college) to support myself and still have enough time to reach those in need? I’m not old enough to leave home, God, so how can I reach those in need? Show me what You want me to do...help me to be brave enough to take leaps of faith. But God, what do I do when my parents say "no"? Is it a sign from You? Or do they just not have enough faith? I don’t know what to do, Abba. Please guide me. I want to follow You, serve You and give You all the glory.