Dear God, (November 28th, 2008)
Where to start...so much has happened, and yet it just feels like I have slept for a long time and I now awaken to find myself in limbo, living life at a fast pace and yet somehow not going anywhere. I do not sense that I am far from You, but yet I am not as close to You as I need to be. Draw me back, Father. I have been questioning why You allowed tough things in my life...but now I realize that those things show just how much You love me...that You would love me enough to allow certain things in my life (even though they would hurt me so much) because they were what was best for me—that is an amazing love.
God, I am fairly convinced that You want me to serve as a Bible translator for at least a portion of my life. But how can I serve You, how can I make You known here? Now? I don’t want to be the only one who has caught a glimpse of what the Christian life is supposed to be like...I want others to realize that living for You is much more than having a Study Bible, a Christian bumper sticker, a once-a-week observance, and a do-good cult. Being a Christian is SO much more than that—even I am not completely sure what all it entails. Can You show me, so that I can help them see it, too? What would my life be like if I really believed that what I really believe is really true? How would my town change if I, just I, were truly passionate about You? Help me, Father. Change me, mold me, use me for Your glory. Point me in the right direction and give me Your holy fire!
Yours and only Yours forever,