Dear God, (May 18th, 2008)
I am so weary, so tired of rushing around "accomplishing" things. Play guitar for church. Finish schoolwork. Get good grades so that you can get scholarships, etc. It’s a never-ending rat race and I’m tired of running it. I want to minister, I want to make You known. But I can’t, because I’m so burnt-out from simply trying to stay alive. I want to know You and Your rest, Abba.
I don’t want to be bound anymore by other people’s expectations of me...I want to be free to pursue what You’ve called me to do. Give me the grace to step out of the cell of my doubt and my comfort zone. Give me Your rest. I am quiet before You, confident that as I abide in You, You will make it clear to me what it is that I was made to do. And Father, help me to not get so busy doing the work of the Lord that I forget the Lord of the work. I want to make You known, but in order to do that, I must know You.
I rest in the knowledge that You will lead me wherever I need to go, whether it be life in the fast lane or quiet repose by the still waters. You know what is best for me...I trust You to lead me. Give me the grace...help me to surrender and not fight Your will. I love You, my Abba.