Dear God, (August 20th, 2007)
O Lord! Bring a revival to my heart. O how I have grieved Your Holy Spirit! How I have neglected Your Word! Failed to obey Your commands! I am such a sinner; how can I stand before You, O Most Holy God? How can I enter Your presence, for I have filthy hands and an impure heart that is so wicked and full of deceit. I have wounded You, my One True Friend. My sin has broken the bong that once bound our hearts together. I am so guilty, so ashamed, so unworthy of bearing Your name and disgracing You. A song by Casting Crowns sums up my recent life perfectly:
Living on my own/ thinking for myself/ castles in the sand/ temporary wealth/ walls are falling down/ storms are closing in/ tears have filled my eyes/ here I am again.
And I’ve held out as long as I can/ now I’m letting go and holding out my hand.
Daddy, here I am again/ will You take me back tonight?/ I went and made the world my friend/ and it left me high and dry/ I drag Your name back through the mud that You first found me in/ Not worthy to be called Your son/ is this to be my end?/ Daddy, here I am/ here I am again.
Curse this morning sun/ drags me into one more day/ of reaping what I’ve sown/ of living with my shame/ Welcome to my world/ and the life that I have made/ where one day you’re a prince/ the next day you’re a slave.
And I’ve held out as long as I can/ now I’m letting go and holding out my hand.
Daddy, here I am again/ will You take me back tonight?/ I went and made the world my friend/ and it left me high and dry/ I drag Your name back through the mud that You first found me in/ Not worthy to be called Your son/ is this to be my end?/ Daddy, here I am/ here I am again.
I am beaten/ I am torn/ I’m not running/ I’m not running anymore
Jesus, will You take me back, please? I know I don’t deserve it, but will You forgive me, please?
Yours Forever,
Rachel
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