Dear God, (January 9th, 2008)
Why did we have to resign from the mission? Why did we have to leave Uruguay behind forever? I don’t understand.
But I don’t need to. You know why; You did it for my good, so that’s good enough for me. You had a plan for it (and still do). I trust Your wisdom. Then why do I still question? Please give me more faith, Father. Help me trust You more and more.
But I do trust You...even though I’m going through tough times and I’m barely hanging on, I know that You’re in control of my life and that You will work everything out for my good and Your glory.
Abba, I know that to others this may seem like a strange request, but I just want to ask that You keep me here. Please keep me in this place where I don’t understand, where I am out of control. It is here that I’m learning how very much I need You and how difficult yet rewarding it is to simply have to trust You. For here, in this place of pain, trials, and life full of the unknown that I cannot rely on my own finite wisdom, but on Your own infinite wisdom; here I cannot call on my own feeble strength to get me through the hard times (for I have no strength at all), but I must allow myself to be carried safely into the fire and the unknown by Your Everlasting Arms. Oh, Abba, I need You so much!! Thank You for never leaving me. Please make me a pliable vessel in Your hands. Shape me into who You want me to be. I don’t want these trials to ever end if they will continue to make me more like You, precious Father.