Dear God, (December 31st, 2007)
Please keep me here. I am finding myself (for the thousandth time) in situation after situation in which I am totally out of control. I cannot handle all of this in my own strength. But this is right where I need to be. Please keep me in this place where I’m out of control and You are totally in control. I need to be helpless; completely dependent on Your strength to handle all of this. I never should have even tried to control my life and my circumstances--for they have always been in Your hands.
So, while I’m here, teach me to trust You even more. As life around me makes less and less sense and I feel like I’m flying into a million pieces because I can’t handle these situations, teach me more what it means to "trust in the LORD with all your heart..." I am learning, ever so slowly, that dependence only on You is the way to live. I don’t know what the next moment holds; I don’t know what the year 2008 holds, but I know who holds me--it’s You.
You will never leave me--so what have I to fear? There is absolutely nothing that could happen in my life that You can’t handle. My future is a shadow--but it is secure. Come what may, You are God, You are in complete control of my life. I trust You completely. But I am still learning, still learning. Just when I think that I trust You completely, You send something else into my life to show me that I am just beginning to learn to rely completely on Your strength and wisdom to get me through.
I have promised to follow You anywhere, but it’s so hard to follow in the dark. Help me to trust You more and more each day.