Prayer Journal Entry #20: "I want to know You more..."

Dear God, (January 2nd, 2008)
I blew it today. Not by most people’s terms, but certainly by Yours. I tried to live this day without You. I tried to handle things in my own strength, and (as we both know) I can’t do it. So, finally, I turned to You. I waited until late in the afternoon before I finally came to meet with You. But if I try to meet with You early in the morning, I can’t stay awake. What is to become of me? What is wrong with me? Can I not make You a priority in my life? I must, else I should cease living, for You are all that matters. Oh, Father, help me to seek You all the more diligently each and every day. Give me such a strong desire to be in Your presence as cannot be denied. I want to know You more, but how can I do that if I do not make seeking You my highest goal each day?
Oh, how far I have yet to go in becoming more like You. I cannot attain holiness by disciplining myself to read and study Your Word each day, to talk to You, memorize Your Word, etc. Those are all good things, but that is not what having a personal relationship with You is all about. It is about seeking to become like You out of love, and out of face-down worship of Your awesome majesty.
I yield my heart to You once again, O Holy Spirit. I keep trying to take my heart back and transform it myself, but I can’t do it! So, take my heart, my soul, my mind, my will, all of me and transform it. Renew my mind; Create in me a clean heart, O God, renew a right spirit within me. Make me more like You tomorrow and each day afterward.
Yours Forever,
Rachel